Stop Giving Advice to People Who Don’t Want It.
It is time to listen to your own advice.
Ever had those friends who just like to complain about everything? About their job, their partner, their car, their friends. They just complain over and over about the same things and call it venting. This process is justified by many as “normal” because everyone does it.
Not all problems need a solution, they say. You should be a good friend and just listen.
I get why you should listen but shouldn’t we help each other solve these problems? I mean if your partner or friend is always complaining about the same things, shouldn’t we do something about it? Shouldn’t they do something about it?
They are clearly unhappy…
You always thought of yourself as a decent and honest friend. You listen and you want to help others. You want to make an impact in the world and lift others up. You see solutions and you want to point to them. You want to create a positive environment around you so we can all live a fulfilling life.
Until one day, you find yourself giving advice again to one of your friends and she says she doesn’t always need advice. What she means is that she doesn’t need you to point out the obvious. She is not interested in solving the problem. She even tells you that you wouldn’t understand because you are not in her situation. This makes you realize one thing and you make a decision then and there.
You make a promise to yourself to stop giving advice unless people specifically ask for it.
“Well, maybe this is for the better after all.”
Your friend stops complaining about the same things and you start focusing more on yourself. You realize your life could use some of your own advice too. You’ve been neglecting your own goals and personal responsibilities lately. You focus your energy into journaling, planning and meditating on solutions.
Your life starts to improve and you create your own happiness.
About a month later, your friend hits you up. She says she has so much to tell you. She says she found a new job and started telling her boss off. You feel happy for her so you tell her that. She seems much happier too. She tells you that she hasn’t been saying much lately but she has been sad about her boss and work. You tell her you know because she’s been off lately. You even tell her about that one time she was acting weird. Turns out her boss scolded her about something and she was taking it out on you. She ends up apologizing and you forgive her. You find out she’s been mean to others in her life as well.
Deep down, you really feel happy that she did something about her problems.
But you keep your promise to yourself. You do not keep giving more advice. You feel grateful to your friend for making you realize that not everyone wants help. You keep focusing on yourself and have people come to you at their will. And if they seem to complain too much and not wanting to do anything, you stop caring so much and shift your energy to what you can fix. In the end, the only person you can control is yourself. So, put your energy into yourself and start the happiness from within.
You do need your own help after all.
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